Things We Learn from Movies (3) 從電影學到的事

2009/12/12 23:35
Sammy 老師
分類: 英文笑話

16. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

中世紀的鄉下人都擁有完美的牙齒.

(medieval 中世紀的 peasant 農民; 鄉下人)

17. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

就算在一條直到不能再直的路上開車, 還是要不時大力地左右轉動方向盤.

(steering wheel 方向盤 vigorously 猛烈地)

18. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

一個人開槍打二十個人射中的機率, 永遠比二十個人打一個人要高. (哈哈!)

19. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

當你關燈就寢的時候, 你房間裡的東西還是可以看得很清楚, 只是會帶一點藍光. (真的耶! 電影裡都是這樣!)

(visible 可看見的 slightly 輕微地)

20. Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.

電影裡的狗永遠知道誰是壞人, 並對他們叫個不停.

21. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

動作片英雄永遠不用面對過失殺人或任何刑責, 就算整個城市都已差不多被他毁了.

(manslaughter 過失殺人 criminal 犯罪的;刑事的 despite 儘管 entire 整個的)

22. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

無論一艘太空船受到多猛烈的攻擊, 內部的重力系統永遠沒事.

(internal 內部的 gravity 重力; 地心引力)

23. You can always find a chain saw whenever you’re likely to need one.

每當你需要電鋸的時候, 手邊都會剛好有一把.

(chain saw 電動鍊鋸)

24. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.

所有的炸彈都附有電子計時裝置, 上面有超大的紅色數字顯示, 讓你知道它還有多久會爆炸.

(be fitted with… 裝有... device 裝置 readout 標示文字 exactly 究竟; 到底

go off 鬧鐘響起或炸彈爆炸)

25. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

不論你要去哪棟大樓, 你永遠都可以把車停在大門口.

26. Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.

槍就像抛棄式刮鬍刀片子彈用完時, 直接把槍丟掉就好. 反正永遠可以再買新的.

(disposable 用過即丟的 razor 剃刀 bullet 子彈)

27. Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.

即使臉上帶著粧睡覺, 第二天醒來也絕對不會有任何暈染.

(smudge 暈染; 暈開)

28. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

警探只有在被停職以後才有辦法破案. (真的耶!)

29. You can always turn a computer off by pressing a button on the monitor.

關電腦時, 只要按螢幕上的一個按鈕就好. (沒錯! 電影裡的人都不用儍儍地等 Windows 關機!)

Things We Learn from Movies (2) 從電影學到的事

2009/12/10 04:24
Sammy 老師
分類: 英文笑話

9. People in movies never finish their drinks.

電影裡的人永遠不會把飲料喝完.

10. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

男人被毒打時永遠一聲不吭, 面不改色; 但卻會在女人為他清理傷口時痛得瞇眼皺眉.

(ferocious 兇惡的 wince 痛得瞇起眼睛 wound 傷口)

11. The chief of police is always black.

警察局長永遠是黑人.

12. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

要付計程車錢時, 根本不需要先看一下皮夾再掏出錢來, 只要隨意抽出一張鈔票交給司機就好. 你拿出來的永遠會是剛剛好的數目.

(沒錯! 電影裡的人都是這樣! 而且司機好像也永遠不必找錢...)

(wallet 皮夾 note 紙鈔 grab 一把抓住 at random 隨機地 exact 剛剛好的 fare 車資)

13. Kitchens don’t have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

廚房不需要有電燈開關. 當你晚上走進廚房, 你只要打開冰箱, 用裡面的小燈就好.

(對耶...電影裡常摸黑到廚房裡把冰箱門打開找食物, 整個廚房就靠冰箱裡那個小燈)

14. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

車禍中撞毁的汽車和卡車幾乎總是會突然起火爆炸. (沒錯!!!)

(crash 撞毁 burst into flames 突然起火燃燒)

15. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

一根火柴足以照亮像足球場那麼大的空間.

(sufficient 足夠的 stadium 體育場)

Things We Learn from Movies (1)  從電影學到的事

2009/12/09 03:52
Sammy 老師
分類: 英文笑話

(這些當然都是在諷刺常見的電影情節. 不過電影裡還真的都是這樣哩...)

1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

住在鬼屋裡的女人都應該穿著性感內衣去查看任何奇怪的聲音.

(haunted house 鬼屋 investigate 調查 strange noise 奇怪的聲音 revealing 曝露的

underwear 內衣)

2. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

從超市出來的人, 紙袋裡至少要有一條法國麵包.

(grocery 雜貨 contain 包含 stick 一條)

3. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane.

任何人都可以使飛機降落.

4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

口紅一旦擦上就永遠不會掉色—-就算你去潛水也一樣.

(apply 塗抹 lipstick 口紅 rub off 褪去 scuba diving 深海潛水)

5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

任何一棟大樓的通風系統都是最好的藏身之處. 永遠沒有人會想到要去那裡找你, 而且你可以在裡面爬到任何你想去的地方.

(沒錯! 很多電影裡都是這樣耶!)

(ventilation 通風)

6. You’re likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

只要你不把家鄉女友的照片拿給別人看, 你就可以在任何一場戰爭中存活.

(因為每次拿女友或老婆照片給別人看的軍人, 好像都真的很快就被打死了!)

(survive 存活 battle 戰役 sweetheart 情人)

7. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

如果你要演一個德國軍官, 不用會說德文, 只要用德國口音講英文就好.

(pass off as… 假扮 accent 口音)

8. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

從巴黎的任何一棟建築物的窗戶都可以看到艾菲爾鐵塔.

(真的耶!)

12 Reasons Why Prison Is Better Than a Job 上班不如坐牢的十二個理由

2009/11/19 08:13
Sammy 老師
分類: 英文笑話

(逗大家開心一下囉!)

1. In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8’ X 10’ cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6’ X 8’ cubicle.

牢房的面積有 8 10 英呎; 個人工作區只有 6 8 英呎.

2. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.

坐牢一天有免費三餐可吃; 上班一天只有一次休息吃飯的時間, 而且還要自己出錢.

3. In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

坐牢表現良好可以提早解脫; 上班表現良好換來的只是更多工作. (這句太有道理啦!)

4. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

上班要帶著識別卡自己開門關門; 坐牢有警衛會幫你開門關門.

5. In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

在牢裡你可以看電視和玩遊戲; 上班看電視和玩遊戲你會被開除.

6. In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained.

在牢裡你要走動時得戴上枷鎖; 上班時你根本不能任意走動.

7. In prison you get your own toilet. At work you have to share.

在牢裡你有自己專屬的馬桶; 在上班的地方你得和別人共用馬桶. (說得也是...)

8. In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

在牢裡你的家人和朋友可以來看你; 上班時連和家人或朋友說話都不行.

9. In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

在牢裡你的一切花費都由納稅人幫你出錢, 你什麼也不用做; 上班不但要自己負擔交通費用, 政府還會扣你的薪水要你納稅去養坐牢的人.

10. In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

在牢裡你大部份的時間都從裡面隔著鐵窗往外看, 想要出去; 上班時你大部份的時間都只想出去, 趕快鑽進酒吧. (這裡是玩雙關語的遊戲, 因為 bar 可指鐵窗, 也可指酒吧)

11. In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

牢裡有各種活動讓你任意參加或退出; 上班時有些活動你根本無法退出.

12. In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work we have managers.

在牢裡常會碰到有虐待狂的典獄長; 在上班時則有有虐待狂的主管.

笑話—-No Dogs Allowed!

2009/11/15 14:34
Sammy 老師
分類: 英文笑話

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “You can’t bring that dog in here!”

(bartender 酒保)

The guy, without missing a beat, says, “This is my seeing-eye dog. I’m blind.”

(without missing a beat 立刻 seeing-eye dog 導盲犬 blind 瞎眼的)

“Oh man,” the bartender says, “I’m sorry. Here. The first one’s on me.” The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

(the first one’s on me 第一杯我請客)

Another guy walks in the bar with a chihuahua. The first guy sees him, stops him and says, ” You can’t bring a dog in here unless you tell him it’s a seeing-eye dog. “

(chihuahua 吉娃娃 unless 除非)

The second man thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender sees his dog and says, “Hey, you can’t bring that dog in here!”

The second man replies, “This is my seeing-eye dog. I’m blind.”

(reply 回答)

“Oh yeah?” says the bartender. “I don’t think so. People don’t have chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs!”

“WHAT??!! They gave me a chihuahua???!!!” says the second man angrily.

笑話—-Take the penguins to the zoo

2009/11/13 04:18
Sammy 老師
分類: 英文笑話

(奇摩好像沒有英文自動斷字功能, 大家湊合著點吧...)

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.

(gas station 加油站 tank 油箱 filled up 加滿 gas pumper 加油站服務員

spot 看到 penguins 企鵝)

He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back seat?”

(What’s up with…? ...是怎麼回事?)

The man in the car says “I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven’t had a clue.”

(haven’t had a clue 還沒想到, 想出來)

The clerk ponders a bit then says, “You should take them to the zoo.”

(ponder 沈思 a bit 一下子)

“Hey, that’s a good idea,” says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

“Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo.”

“Oh, I did,” says the driver, “And we had a great time. Today I am taking them to the movies!”

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