12 Reasons Why Prison Is Better Than a Job 上班不如坐牢的十二個理由

2009/11/19 08:13
Sammy 老師
分類: 英文笑話

(逗大家開心一下囉!)

1. In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8’ X 10’ cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6’ X 8’ cubicle.

牢房的面積有 8 10 英呎; 個人工作區只有 6 8 英呎.

2. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.

坐牢一天有免費三餐可吃; 上班一天只有一次休息吃飯的時間, 而且還要自己出錢.

3. In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

坐牢表現良好可以提早解脫; 上班表現良好換來的只是更多工作. (這句太有道理啦!)

4. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

上班要帶著識別卡自己開門關門; 坐牢有警衛會幫你開門關門.

5. In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

在牢裡你可以看電視和玩遊戲; 上班看電視和玩遊戲你會被開除.

6. In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained.

在牢裡你要走動時得戴上枷鎖; 上班時你根本不能任意走動.

7. In prison you get your own toilet. At work you have to share.

在牢裡你有自己專屬的馬桶; 在上班的地方你得和別人共用馬桶. (說得也是...)

8. In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

在牢裡你的家人和朋友可以來看你; 上班時連和家人或朋友說話都不行.

9. In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

在牢裡你的一切花費都由納稅人幫你出錢, 你什麼也不用做; 上班不但要自己負擔交通費用, 政府還會扣你的薪水要你納稅去養坐牢的人.

10. In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

在牢裡你大部份的時間都從裡面隔著鐵窗往外看, 想要出去; 上班時你大部份的時間都只想出去, 趕快鑽進酒吧. (這裡是玩雙關語的遊戲, 因為 bar 可指鐵窗, 也可指酒吧)

11. In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

牢裡有各種活動讓你任意參加或退出; 上班時有些活動你根本無法退出.

12. In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work we have managers.

在牢裡常會碰到有虐待狂的典獄長; 在上班時則有有虐待狂的主管.


 
 

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